Contents
WHATever YOU boast about, CONSIDER IT AS LOST
Part one
For a hair . . .
In the meantime, when so many thousands of the multitude had gathered together that they trod upon one another, he began to say to his disciples first, “Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy. Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed or hidden that will not be known. Whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed upon the housetops. I tell you, my friends, do not fear those who kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do. But I will warn you whom to fear: fear him who, after he has killed, has power to cast into hell; yes, I tell you, fear him! Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows. And I tell you, everyone who acknowledges me before men, the Son of man also will acknowledge before the angels of God; but he who denies me before men will be denied before the angels of Gods” (Luke 12:1–9).
TO BE CLOSE
When you are so close to the Messiah, you can trample not only others, but also your own conscience. Everyone wants to be as close to great events as possible, so that they can later frame a photo of their own image, with a broad smile as if there was a kilogram of chewing gum in the mouth, against the background of a famous, universally known personality. Everyone wants to watch with pride the reactions of those who say with admiration: “Oh! You are so close to this famous person! Do you know him personally?” People flock to places and people who give them a sense of self–esteem and social recognition, but there is rarely an honest atmosphere in such places or with such people. It’s easy to be hypocritical. That’s why Jesus says: “Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees.” The hungriest for true friends are those who are gorged on fame! They strive to be closest, so as to be close to what is important, remarkable, to participate in someone’s authority. Someone’s importance is then shared with me. Nobody wants to be a nobody, nobody wants to be the rubbish of history, the wrapper of a sweet, an inkless biro, and yet in this crowd some surely fell down, were trampled on, felt discredited, ashamed because they were unable to defend themselves when others pushed them into the mud. The embarrassment of some is the price of elevating others.
What do we see here in this Gospel that is so important for our lives, perhaps even most important? WHO DOES JESUS VALUE AS HIS MOST IMPORTANT FRIENDS? Does He value me? What does Jesus think about me or you anyway? What does He think about me? Where should I be in life so that He notices me and important to Him . . . most important? In the RSV Bible, the Greek phrase HOSTE KATAPATEIN ALLELOUS is translated quiet gently as:
“When so many thousands of the multitude had gathered together that they trod upon one another, he began to say to his disciples first, “Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy.”
However, in the ESV Bible we have a much more literal translation:
“When so many thousands of the people had gathered together that they were trampling one another, he began to say to his disciples first, “Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy.”
The Greek verb KATAPATEO means the act of trampling something or someone, e.g. in the writings of Herodotus: “to let the pigs trample the grain after sowing; in the metonymic[1], figurative sense: to despise”!
In the Book of Isaiah (Is 10:6) this word means: “to trample down as mud in the streets” – to destroy with contempt and death.
And please imagine – so close to Jesus, and some people trample on others like pigs on grain. So close to holiness!
People blinded by the desire to be noticed, to be important, did not care about anyone, they trampled on each other. They wanted to be noticed so much that they did not notice others. They wanted to appear in the eyes of others so much that they paid no attention to anyone. They pulled their hair, trampled on those who stumbled and fell, pressed forward, as close as possible . . . not out of love, but to be considered important, the most important.
Being closest to God sometimes means neglecting Him, even to slight Him. Sometimes someone is close to Him, but not to be with Him, but to use Him, e.g. for their own prestige. Anything can serve aggrandisement – both atheism and religion. I am thinking about my priesthood now, because thanks to it I am so close to Jesus. You can be close and trample on someone – either your own dignity or theirs. Think about yourself too. What has motivated your life so far? . . . To be the most important? . . . To be important? I think about my priesthood. Am I serving the Lord or am I using the priesthood for my own prestige? It’s not the best, safest place at all. Let’s just think for a moment: who among the participants of the Eucharist has the greatest chance to trample the Host? The one who is closest, that is me!
Once, a certain priest, who was quite a modest and quiet man, who didn’t attract anyone’s attention, had his consecrated hosts scattered on the floor while distributing Holy Communion. We watched as he picked them up with the greatest tenderness, on his knees, shocked, almost as if he had fallen and hurt himself painfully. He was very afraid not to trample even one Host with his shoes. Looking at this, we could learn from him compassion, fear and respect for Jesus, but on the other hand, we were surprised, because in this one gesture the entire respect of this priest for Jesus was revealed, like never before in any of his sermons. It was clear to the naked eye that he was shocked by the fact that the Lord’s Body had spilled out, and not by the fact that he had shown clumsiness in his movements in front of people and was trying to fix it on all fours.
No motivation, even the most secret, is so hidden that it won’t reveal itself someday, sooner or later. Jesus says: “everything will come to light”, “what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed upon the housetops”. Every desire that a person has in his heart comes out of it through gestures, movements, glances and words. What is most important to you is betrayed in every gesture.
You can deny Jesus without becoming an atheist at all, you just need to strive to be noticed by people, even using your position in the religious community. In fact, you can only trample on someone when you are closest to that person, but this closeness is not born out of love but serves to use that person to emphasize your own uniqueness. Wounds inflicted by loved ones are the most painful. When the enemy hits you, at most you feel the pain of humiliation or physical pain, but when a friend hurts you, you feel pain in the soul, the deepest kind of suffering. During one of the papal visits, I saw a group of people who almost had a fight, fighting for the closest place to John Paul II – they were pushing and pulling each other’s clothes, tugging and calling names. How many proudly took photos with the Holy Father and then hung these photos on the walls of their apartments, like a hunter with deer antlers!
There were also those who really wanted to be closest to the Holy Father, because they could watch with satisfaction the crowd who looked at them with envy, thinking: “He must be someone important if he is standing so close to the Pope.” This is participation in someone else’s authority to build up your own!
I remember that during one of the Holy Father’s visits, a seminarian learned that the Pope would pray in the monastery chapel at night to gain some silent peace. This monk had never prayed in the chapel at night, but this time he spent many hours kneeling with a rosary in his hand, in an almost mystical position, probably looking at the clock and the door from time to time. Unfortunately, the pope did not visit the chapel. So, in the morning, the disappointed cleric went out and, passing by the gate where an attendant was on duty, he said discouraged: “The pope wasn’t there, I’m going to bed.” There was no pope, but Jesus was in the tabernacle. After a few years, he left the order because he felt disappointed that no one was charmed by him. In our desire to get what is important, it is easy to miss what is most important.
FEAR
We observe a continuous fight for the first, most important place in every area of life – in sports arenas, on stage, in politics, and economics. Most people, asked about what is most important to them, will indicate current problems, family, children, or money. But God is the most important, although we often place Him at the end. Some have already found out after the dramas of their life stories that even the closest person can trample over us and then only He remains. Sooner or later, we will all find out about this. Even if you have the happiest marriage, it won’t last forever, one of you will be the first to die. And who remains then? He remains, Jesus.
So, we have a vision – God is most important. But where is God, why is He hidden? He is most important and behaves as if He was unimportant. He doesn’t show Himself, doesn’t reveal Himself, and the people built an altar to Him. The most important who doesn’t want to be the most important?! What light does this give to our own lives!
The text of the Gospel cited at the beginning is addressed to those who are exposed to persecution because of their faith but also to all those who live every day in fear of others, and the fear that they are unimportant, and at any price – even at the price of the renunciation of Jesus – they are ready to be photographed, to give an interview, perform in front of the cameras, sing a blasphemous song, exhibit a dubious anti–cultural work in a museum, such as . . . a portrait of Pope Benedict XVI woven from seventeen thousand colourful condoms. This modernist work cost twenty–five thousand dollars. Why are they doing this? To exist, to escape the fear that they live unnoticed? And to be unnoticed, omitted – is like not existing!
We can be afraid of many different things – what others think about us, what they are thinking, being afraid of their opinions and reactions, someone leaving or someone’s too close, or even fear of love or on the contrary, hatred. Fear accompanies us everywhere – at home, at work, on the street, even in dreams! Søren Kierkegaard claimed that fear isn’t even a feeling, but the most original attitude toward the world and people, to God and self – the first result of sin, because it appeared in Adam and Eve as the first effect of sin. Anyway, after each sin, we are attacked by an internal fear and that binds us for a long time, even after confession. Jesus says that anyone who is afraid to accept Him before people should not succumb to this fear but place all their trust in Him. What we need to fear is not so much the loss of human acceptance, as the loss of God. In the book of Exodus, it says that before the sin of the golden calf, the Israelites were not afraid to approach God or look at His glory on Sinai, but after the sin they began to be afraid of Him and would rather stay far away. We are afraid that someone will leave us, die, that we will fail, that we will compromise ourselves, that everyone will find out who we really are, we are afraid of diseases, of accidents, our own and that of our loved ones, we are afraid to do anything, leave the house or stay in it and do nothing, we fear that we’ll not like others, we will fall, we are afraid of being rejected, criticism, silence and mockery, that someone important to us will like someone more than us. We are afraid that we can’t cope with life, pain, loneliness, and when someone is with us, we are afraid that they will leave or disappoint us, we avoid problematic people and topics, we withdraw, insolate, back off, carry pills with us so as to feel safer, we check several times if we turned off the gas rings, we postpone decisions, occupy ourselves with surfing the Internet, bite nails, bite ourselves with anxiety, we dress up in various clothes several times, because we are still anxious, that we look awful, finally we are afraid of God, does He still love us, or at least tolerates us, endures us, or maybe He’s already had enough of us, or maybe He’s been disappointed and we are already irrelevant to him? It’s horrifying. In my life the most terrifying thing was that I was afraid of whether God still loves me. I survived various terrors, but when there was a time when I realised: “Maybe God has expunged me?”, then my life was on the edge.
Jesus said: “but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world!” (John 16:33).
It’s an encouragement for a flourishing of fearlessness that comes from trust in God, and not from what other people say about us and how they look at us. The greater the trust, having its source in deepening closeness with Him, the less fear. The greatest suffering that can crush me is the ego. What can free me from it is a great closeness with the One who is most important. I can survive only because in my fear I am guaranteed His love. If this awareness is not there, then there is still the fear that paralyses my life. Between people such an experience is accessible: when someone really loves another person, they rid themselves of their own ego for a moment; embraces, anxiety disappears, and the person feels safe.
DISGRACE – THE ONLY RESCUE
Concern for ordinary sparrows, God’s concern for the smallest of creatures, makes me consider my existence and its meaning for God. His Son took such great care that I can always be with Him that He submitted Himself to a martyrdom as gruesome as the crucifixion. After all, He didn’t die to be risen only for Himself, but so that I would have faith in a new life and have a share in this new life beyond death and above death. A sparrow, which, according to the text, was worth a few pennies, is the object of exceptional care by God. According to a certain Jewish legend, Rabbi Shimon bar Yochai, who lived several decades after the death of Christ, leaving the cave one day during the Emperor Hadrian’s persecution, after the Second Jewish Uprising around 135, saw a hunter catching birds. Each time Shimon heard a voice from heaven: Dimissio! – In Latin: “Give up” – the hunter couldn’t catch the bird and missed, but when he heard the voice from heaven: Specula! – “Look-out” – the bird was caught by the hunter. Then Shimon thought: “If even a bird does not die without God’s will, how much more a man, such as me”. There is even a Japanese proverb, which says that even a hunter doesn’t shoot a bird who is looking for shelter in his garments, and what does this say about God, in whom we are looking for shelter!
God looks at us primarily with an impassioned commitment of love. Getting to know yourself and your identity is doomed to error, if you don’t know how He loves you and who we are for Him. And He looks at us so intensively that He has us in the pupils of His eyes. In Spanish, the pupil is PUPILA, and it’s similar in other Western languages. Everyone knows what it means to be someone’s PUPILA – to be the apple of their eye – to be a favourite. This is remembered by everyone who wants to be recognised by God, even at the price of being avoided by people! This is how God sees us, each of us as His favourite. If you are aware of this, you know who you are. Our name is Christian – the one who is in Christ. He looks at each of us, as if at His own son, if only in Him, in Christ, we live thanks to Holy Communion. When you are aware of this, you know who you are, you avoid fear. The awareness of how He looks at you, how He loves you, what He guarantees you, makes fear decrease. This is a fundamental realisation, the most important truth about my identity and my destiny. Other things, specifying my distinctiveness and uniqueness, will emerge in time. In the book of Deuteronomy, it is written:
“When the Most High gave to the nations their inheritance, when he separated the sons of men, he fixed the bounds of the peoples according to the number of the sons of God. For the Lord’s portion is his people, Jacob his allotted heritage. “He found him in a desert land, and in the howling waste of the wilderness; he encircled him, he cared for him, he kept him as the apple of his eye.” (Deut 32:8–10).
Looking for Jacob, they would find an insignificant man, a nobody, a zero in history, he was not a pharaoh or king of Babylon, his wife was not called Nefertiti, nor his palace hide the hanging gardens of Babylon, nor did he have the army of Nebuchadnezzar. He was found in the midst of the wild beasts. And yet . . . and yet God looked after him like the apple of His eye! For centuries He had such love for Israel, and when someone hurt this nation, God reacted as if someone had hurt Him. And yet Jacob was a deceiver, a stray, for Isaac a child in the background, overlooked by his father, deceived by Laban and the one who deceived his father – his family from the point of view of today’s psychology could be diagnosed as dysfunctional or pathological. And many of us may now think in our hearts: that’s what I am – cheated and a cheater, a stray, and I grew up among the wild howling of curses in the family, in a quarrel and a void of meaninglessness. And yet . . . and yet the Lord talks about Jacob and you:
For this is what the Lord Almighty says: “After the Glorious One has sent me against the nations that have plundered you — for whoever touches you touches the apple of his eye” (Zech 2:8).
Most people base their identity on what they do and how it is assessed by the human eye, not on who they are in God’s eyes. Looking at Christ, we can easily see that His identity was based on who He was in relation to His Father, God, and not on what He did. For Him, what was most important was the bond with His Father, everything else flowed out of this bond. So often it differs with us, we define ourselves with what we do, what we do for others and in their eyes, we look for approval and the answer to the question of who we are. This is very boggy ground – an anxious and neurotic soil, it can kill us. I lost many years trying to build my image in the eyes of other people, it costs not only hypocrisy, but also neurosis and depression.
That is why there is so much anxiety and uncertainty in us, because we are constantly afraid of what others will think about us and what opinion they have of us, and this is why we are prepared for people to trample on us, just to get some human attention. Meanwhile, Jesus shows us a completely different model of finding the value of existence. During the baptism of Jesus and later at the Mount of Transfiguration, the Father said over Jesus the words that He was pleased and that He is His Son – He said these words to the people, but above all to His Son. Jesus has never doubted this love, because it was eternal love, but we are constantly afraid and we are not sure who we are, because instead of looking for our identity in God, to see in God’s eyes love and acceptance, we look restlessly into the eyes of people. And we are looking for affirmation from them. Meanwhile, people are fickle and even those who love us do not guarantee eternal love. We’re not sure about what they say about us, and we don’t know if what they do say is true. After all, we don’t know who we are. Jesus knew who He was because He knew who He was in His Father’s eyes. He never doubted His love and therefore did not doubt who He was. His name Jehoshua means the exclamation: Help of Yahweh, or salvation! He knew that on the one hand He was the cry of all humanity directed to His Father by Him, on the other hand He is the response to mankind by God, who only gives salvation in this Name.
To free yourself from the obsession of being deserving in the eyes of others for attention and appreciation – to free yourself from that strong search to be noticed even at the cost of being trampled by others – you only need one thing: a scandal and fiasco – without experiencing this there is no question of a spiritual life. Until you disgrace yourself in the eyes of people, you will not free yourself from seeking admiration from them. This is how the exceptional grace of liberation happens – the grace of disgrace – and you have to be thankful for it and not get angry. The prodigal son only then began to appreciate life as a reflection in his father’s eyes when he had the disgrace of sitting in the pigsty with the pigs. Only then did he feel in his hair the fingers of his father’s hand hugging his head to his heart. Then every hair on his head mattered and he felt it. He cuddled up like a dove into a crevice in the rock before the storm. At the house of the Pharisee, Simon, a woman washed the feet of Jesus with her hair, expressing repentance and shame, disgraced by her current life, not having the courage to reveal her face – she covered it with her hair and washed the feet Jesus’ with it. Didn’t every one of her hairs matter in the eyes of Jesus? In the Gospel according to Saint Luke, it’s written:
“And standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears, and wiped them with the hair of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment.” (Luke 7:38).
Jesus did not trample on her with either a foot or a look, He didn’t reject her and didn’t despise her, so that in the eyes of the Pharisee Simon He didn’t appear a suspect rabbi. He preferred Simon to doubt whether this rabbi of Nazareth was a prophet rather than to avoid a disgraced woman who, regardless of what others say, expressed true love for Jesus. And you need to know that it is better to be trampled on than to trample others. Because the trampled, insulted, disgraced, return to God with a pure heart – the soul is freed from seeking human recognition – and the one who tramples others does so to be noticed by people. Which do I belong to? Which are you? Today you can decide which side you want to be on. To renounce human recognition is to confess Jesus, to be noticed by Him. To deny Jesus – all you have to do is subjugate your whole life to taking care of your image, your prestige, and your position.
CAN ONE HAIR MATTER?
The same applies for every hair – numbered on a person’s head. It seems absurd that God counts the hairs on each person’s head or that my hair matters in His eyes. But even we, humans, know approximately how many of them there are on our heads. For example: a person has from one hundred to one hundred and fifty thousand hairs on his head, i.e. there are from two hundred to three hundred hairs per square centimetre of the scalp. The diameter of a hair on the head is sixty to eighty microns. The length of hair in a newborn is from fifteen to twenty millimetres; in an adult woman its length can reach up to one and a half meters. Hair grows at a rate of up to 0.5 cm per month. We know that the colour of hair depends on the presence of pigments in the core – melanin and air, as well as on the lubrication of the hair. Hair colour can range from black to silvery-white. In one month, hair roots produce over a kilometre of keratin, which builds growing hair. We also know that hair cells divide several times faster than any other cells in the body. If I know this, why wouldn’t my God know more about me myself and the smallest details of my fate?
And you say, “How I hated discipline, and my heart despised reproof! I did not listen to the voice of my teachers or incline my ear to my instructors. I was at the point of utter ruin in the assembled congregation” (Proverbs 5:12-14).
This text shows that neglecting God’s teaching can get us into big trouble, and sometimes just a little thing, a detail, a detail as small as a hair, is enough to expose us to failure in life. Sometimes we come close to death! And if so, one hair can make a difference! After all, we live in circumstances that we do not realise how dangerous they are. We live in the dark, unsure of the next hour, unsure of the people around us. The Bible is the teacher and if we dedicate ourselves to reading it, we gain assurance in God’s Providence and fear does not paralyze our lives.
Today, in the Gospel, Jesus seems to confirm our trust in Him. If we place all concern for our fate in Him, we do not have to be afraid of other people. It is more than just support, it is a deposit that guarantees not only this life, but, most importantly, the one we are longing for, to finally put all the uncertainty of this time behind us. If you are with Him, you don’t care about what others say about you, how they see you, and you don’t strive to be the most important person in their eyes, because the most important thing for you is to be with the Most Important One, with God. Entrusted to God, a person does not seek human approval at any cost, at the price of denying their own conscience. But not everyone manages to live by faith, that is, by entrusting oneself to God in Jesus Christ. Not everyone manages to frequent the sacrament of reconciliation, i.e., confession, so that what most arouses anxiety and fear, i.e., sin, be concealed in His mercy, and to have the blessed certainty that from that moment on, the Lord will protect you.
“Blessed are those who find strength in you, who set their hearts upon your ways. As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they turn it into a region of springs, and the early rain covers it with pools.” (Ps 84:6-7,NCB).
It is not written: “blessed are those who find strength in themselves.” There is no need to look for power within yourself. Happy is the one who is aware that the power is in God and that He will lead us through fear.
Rabbi Izaak Cylkow (1841-1908) explains the Baca valley as the valley of mulberries. Perhaps it’s about a tree that produces white milk when cut, i.e. a mastic tree, also called “tears of Chios”. It is an aromatic natural resin obtained from the balsam that oozes from the Pistacia lentiscus tree by making a cut that causes it to leak out like tears. Its bactericidal and fungicidal properties have been known since ancient times. Chewing and biting mastic was popular already in ancient Greece, in the 5th century BC. In the 21st century, its specific, bitter taste is used in the production of liqueurs, desserts, refreshing drinks, chewing gum, sweets, ice cream, bread and even cheese. Bitterness that adds flavour, as often happens in life.
Izaak Cylkow says that this is an allusion to a man who, trusting only in God, overcomes all “cuts” and wounds and turns them into spiritual food – white milk. The tears of human suffering, which are caused by the incisions of fate, turn into food that kills our fear and turns our fate into a happy one. Pilgrims traveling to Jerusalem encountered the Baca Valley, where mastic and mulberry trees grew. Although the valley was waterless, they ate fruits and milk from cut trees. Likewise, a person who is heading towards God can gain strength even from situations that humiliate and hurt them.
BRAVELY GIVE YOUR FEAR TO GOD
We have to ask what about the life of a person who doesn’t come closer to God? And doesn’t seek support in His Word or in confiding in Him, in confession? Then a person resorts to pretending – to a kind of mimicry!
Someone told me his dream, which terrified him when he woke up. He was walking on a big stage with an electric guitar, there were many people on stage, also in front of the stage. His guitar, however, had no power – he just carried it about, and presented himself. At one point he had to leave the stage, and he noticed a group of photographers below the stairs, ready to take photos. He positioned himself in a position that the dreamer thought would seem attractive to them, and of course the photographers took advantage of it. However, when the dreamer struck the strings, they made no sound, and he didn’t know what to play – he felt that he wasn’t doing justice and was glad that they didn’t wait for the piece to be played but contented themselves with the photographs. Then he ran through the city with a spoon in his hand. There were young people walking across the street – probably drunk and aggressive – so he grabbed the spoon as if it were a knife and started swinging it menacingly, the metal handle gleaming like a blade. He even tried to run faster, but he couldn’t – he could only trudge into the darkness with increasing fear and difficulty. When he woke up, he realised that out of fear of people he had been trying to pretend to be someone he wasn’t – someone famous and someone dangerous, but he wasn’t. In fact, he was weak and had nothing to “play”. He told me that this dream made him realise that he lived in the fear that someone would discover that he was simply “powerless.”
The whole dream made this man understand a lot: he wanted to be someone strong and someone special at all costs, because he was afraid of people, their strength and rejection. This discovery gave him the opportunity to accept himself in his weakness and modesty. He surrounded himself with people who needed help, to make him feel special and stronger. He needed a “stage”.
Similarly in the Bible. Saul needed David to make him feel strong and special. As long as he pursued him, he felt strong, as long as he hounded him, he could feel superior, special. This continued until David stole his spear and jar of water while Saul was sleeping. It then turned out that Saul could not defend himself against the one he was pursuing and was not as noble as the one he despised. Until we entrust our care and the secrets of conscience to God, we live in hidden panic from people, and on the other hand we are looking for someone who would provide us with safety. However, the other person is as pervaded by fear as anyone else. Besides, are we important enough to anyone in the world for them to devote themselves completely to us, creating a sense of absolute security? Fear is your most important experience of the heart until you entrust yourself to God totally with complete trust. You are faced with a choice: either live in fear or commit yourself to God’s love forever.
“So have no fear of them; for nothing is covered that will not be revealed or hidden that will not be known. What I tell you in the dark, utter in the light; and what you hear whispered, proclaim upon the housetops. And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul; rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell. Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground without your Father’s will. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows. So, everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge before my Father who is in heaven; but whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven.” (Mt 10:26-33; parallel).
How important are we? We have huge deficits in self-esteem. To feel important, since the beginning of time, people have dressed up in animal skins or bird feathers, adorned themselves with bull horns or decorated themselves with trophies or scalps, tattooed themselves or painted their skin. All this to feel valuable and safe, causing fear in others. Today, instead of plumes, people boast about their doctorates, and instead of getting tattoos, they give them titles. Still others, to feel strong, instead of hunting mammoths, hunt for high places. The more terrifying a person’s feeling of worthlessness is, the more he or she tries to prove his or her power to themself and others. The vulgar and aggressive fans who are screaming and shouting in the street turn out to be scared boys who have no support from their father. Helene Deutsch claims that football support is a kind of projection of the source of fear onto the outside world and also a way of getting rid of it. Millions of men come to football matches only to project themselves onto their idol and experience, even for a moment, the power over the inconspicuous ball, which becomes a symbol of rule comparable to the royal sceptre. The more clearly a person emphasises himself, the more blurred his self-image becomes.
When Erich Fromm reflected on Hitler’s greatness, he found many internal deformations in him that indicated that he felt like a very insecure and terrified person: extreme narcissism, lack of contact with other people, disturbances in the perception of reality, necrophilia. Moreover, the psychoanalyst saw him as someone who started the war because he did not believe in his own success. From the beginning his behaviour showed that he sensed disaster and had a desire to drag millions of other people into its vortex. It was similar with Stalin, who terrified others with his own fear. His victories were born from the horror of defeat. Fear is not just any ordinary feeling, especially the fear that concerns our existence – existential fear. Being nobody for some people does not mean ceasing to exist, just as being someone in the eyes of many does not mean existing more clearly. So, we have the deepest fear of losing our existence, but we confuse it with the fear of our existence in someone else’s eyes. This is not the same. Jesus’ words breathe the healthiest philosophy of life – we are much more valuable than sparrows and even the hairs our heads are numbered. God takes us into account and everything in us is known to Him: we exist in His eyes. Anyone who is aware of this truth does not experience the fear of losing their existence in such a drastic way as to start wars or build concentration camps just to forget about their own fear when they see the terror of others. This logic of life gave birth to fascism and communism. Kierkegaard’s “fear and trembling” concerns us all, but its solution lies in God, not in man. Nazirites – people dedicated to God – were forbidden to cut their hair because: hair is a symbol of trust in God without limits – trust without cuts, without moderation, in complete freedom.
One of the Nazirites – Samson – depended on a person, Delilah, and on the night, he entrusted himself completely to her, she cut off his hair. However, he lost not only his hair, but also his strength of existence. You can love another person, you can go through life with him, but we must look for support only in God. “Even if your earthly parents did not want you, even if others do not pay attention to you, know that you are constantly wanted by your true father, God. Know that every day He caresses you so tenderly and with such caring attention that He even knows how many hairs you have on your head. He doesn’t confuse you with anyone else” (V. Albisetti).
The Bible says that Samson was an extremely strong man because he dedicated himself to God, trusted Him with all his being, and as long as God was the only confidant of his hidden secrets of conscience, Samson feared no one. Reliance on God – no cuts, no boundaries. But he was lost by changing the person to whom he entrusted himself, and confiding in someone – that is, entrusting all the secrets of conscience and hidden thoughts – means giving someone control over yourself? He confided in Delilah, the woman he had fallen in love with. And it’s not about a woman or a man; it’s about the fact that he trusted a person more than God. Love is the most beautiful feeling in the world, but also the most dangerous and brings the greatest wounds. Every day, Delilah demanded that Samson confide in her with all his heart and tell her everything about himself. The text from the Book of Judges says:
“And when she pressed him hard with her words day after day, and urged him, his soul was vexed to death. And he told her all his mind, and said to her, ‘A razor has never come upon my head; for I have been a Nazirite to God from my mother’s womb. If I be shaved, then my strength will leave me, and I shall become weak, and be like any other man.’
When Delilah saw that he had told her all his mind, she sent and called the lords of the Philistines, saying, ‘Come up this once, for he has told me all his mind.’ Then the lords of the Philistines came up to her and brought the money in their hands. She made him sleep upon her knees; and she called a man and had him shave off the seven locks of his head. Then she began to torment him, and his strength left him.” (Judges 16:16-19).
Notice that in this passage cutting your hair is comparable to confiding in someone with your whole heart, and the heart in the Bible is not the seat of feelings but of thoughts. This phrase simply means that you tell someone everything about yourself, your interior, your secrets, your sins and problems. Only God is someone to whom we can safely tell everything about ourselves, no one else. I shouldn’t put my hope in anyone else. The prophet Jeremiah proclaims:
“Thus says the LORD: Cursed is the man who trusts in man, whose strength is in the flesh, and turns his heart away from the LORD” (Jeremiah 17:5).
To turn your heart away from the Lord and put your hope in another person is simply to lead yourself to a situation that is not blessed but cursed. Samson lost not only his hair and strength, but also his eyesight – his eyes were gouged out, he was put in chains. Eventually he lost his life. But you can do it differently. Without growing your hair, which is only a symbol – entrust to God without limits your secrets, your entire life path that you have already behind you, and the one that is in front of you.
“Commit your way to the Lord and trust in Him: He himself will act” (Ps 37:5).
Why? Because, as Paul says, “all have gone astray and have become corrupt; there is none who does good, not even one” (Rom 3:12).
When we read a book, our attention is focused on spelling errors, the lack of even one letter, spelling, style, grammatical errors or incorrect information, and we immediately react to them. Similarly, our Lord focuses on those who wander in the paths of fate, who see that their lives are a mistake, and corrects their lot when they turn to Him. First, however, the Lord thinks about what version of events to include in their future, so that it will be the best and most important possible, because He loves to improve.
THE LORD GIVES SIGHT
I chose their way, and sat as chief, and I dwelt like a king among his troops, like one who comforts mourners (Job 29:25).
The Holy Spirit – PARAKLETOS or PARAKALON, because that’s what the Bible calls Him – is always with the smallest, giving joyful courage and faith in achieving the goal, even though the situation of those He comforts is hopeless. Nothing is impossible for Him, as long as you call on Him like a lawyer in a difficult court case. In the Bible, almost everywhere the title PARAKLETOS or PARAKALON appears, it refers to people who were oppressed, accused, physically, mentally or spiritually mutilated. Because He is always there when they need Him most.
He is like a bricklayer who watches the wall of humanity, and when he sees that a brick is crumbling, he immediately cements it up. He is like a dentist who, as soon as he sees that a tooth is decaying, immediately intervenes and treats it, although – as is often the case with a dentist – the procedure itself may be a bit painful. But the end is always satisfactory, even favourable.
We need a new vision, a renewed reflection on the events of our destiny. We all have eyes, but can we all clearly see the events that have taken place in the history behind us? Do we see what is most important and do not allow ourselves to be sidetracked or pushed into despair?
Whether we feel our happiness or misfortune depends much more on how we perceive events than on them or on people’s opinions about them – it is the Lord who gives insight. ” The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim release to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed ” (Luke 4:18).
It happens that the constant experience of success and prosperity blinds us, and we fall into the illusion of invincibility, subtly pushing God into the shadow, to the margin, because we ourselves are on a roll. The bird flies up not because it has grown feathers, but because there is air that is invisible to the eye. What is unseen determines your ascent towards Heaven. It also happens that failed projects, disasters, illnesses, rejection, loss of loved ones make our hearts poorer, with nothing else left; just to cling to God. And this adherence is the MOST IMPORTANT thing.
WHATEVER YOU BOAST ABOUT, CONSIDER IT AS LOST
” I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.” (Ps 34:4).
The words of this psalm are attributed to David. He composed them when he fled from Saul and reached Abimelech Achish. Abimelech, according to Rabbi Cyklow, was the title of the royal rulers of the Philistines. There he realized that rumours about his uniqueness and charisma had reached the Philistine court, making him some kind of demigod in the eyes of the people, so he began to pretend to be mentally unstable so as not to charm the king and to expel him from there.
Can pretending to be abnormal be a reason for God’s blessing?
There are circumstances when people beguile us with adoration and the only way to freedom is to provide them with a reason to be disappointed. David was terrified by fame, which seemed like success but actually made him a prisoner of human emotions. Saul, captivated by the duel between David and Goliath, quickly became a jealous persecutor. My favourite proverb is: whatever you boast about, consider it as lost. When David heard from Achish that people were beginning to talk about the songs in which the women in Saul’s court praised him, which first led to David’s dependence on the king and then to his persecution, he began to pretend to be mad. The Bible says he struck the doorposts with his hands and let saliva drip down his beard. At first glance, he presented great misfortune, but David wanted to achieve the happiness of freedom, independence from human admiration and jealousy. Cylkow translates David’s fear as anxiety. In Hebrew, MEGURA means terror, fear, monstrosity. What made David afraid? Of course, not a threat to life, but a threat to fame!
To avoid fame and admiration, the saints resorted to methods similar to David’s. For example, Saint Philip Neri behaved like David throughout his life. In 1544, in the catacombs of St. Sebastian, which was an extremely beloved place of prayer for him, a supernatural episode occurred. While praying, Saint Philip experienced a piercing and terrifying joy. It was such a strong feeling that it enlarged his heart and broke two of his ribs, which remained deformed for the rest of his life. After this incident, which took place on Pentecost, physical symptoms also appeared that the saint could not hide: his body, especially his hands, trembled so much that the vibrations spread to the chairs, tables, kneeler, he even had to support his elbows during Holy Mass so that the shaking of hands does not cause the wine to spill from the chalice.
His contemporaries said that the rapid beating of his heart was transmitted to objects around him. Philip’s heart was only so aroused when his thoughts turned to God. The human heart becomes happy only when it turns to God, seeking His glory, not its own. Saint Philip was so passionate that he had to walk with his cassock undone and slept, even in winter, with an open window. To avoid becoming an object of admiration and infatuation, he dressed strangely, making people laugh on the street. Many times, he consciously subjected himself to ridicule in order to hide the presence of the Holy Spirit in himself. He performed many ridiculous and humiliating acts just to avoid being hailed as a saint. However, he quickly gained recognition among people due to his great zeal and many conversions and healings. It would seem that general respect and even recognition as a saint during life is what is worth striving for – what a superficial perception of the truth of life.
Saint Bernard used to say that if a monk wants to be truly humble, he will do everything to be seen as mean rather than be generally recognised as humble. When trying to get the best opinion, it is impossible not to fall into Satan’s trap, into spiritual pride that leads a person to pretend to be someone special and important. The sun at noon is highest in the sky, and in the afternoon its heat, especially in Italy, is overwhelming. A person should not strive to overwhelm others with his or her splendour, even spiritual or scientific. Maybe that’s why Neri said: Beware in the afternoon, because that’s when Satan liked to attack most.
When everything succeeds and we are praised, admired and noticed by everyone, we start to live for the “human eye” and we stop caring about the Eye of Providence. It is easy to become proud and start to believe that we are someone serious. Filip knew this well, which is why he put a lot of effort into not being perceived as a saint in the eyes of others. For example, he shaved only half of his beard or sat with a bottle of wine in front of the church during Holy Mass, pretending to be drunk. Other times he would wear his coat inside out and parade around the city with nettles in his hand as if he were carrying a bouquet of flowers. He was only troubled by the good opinion and admiration and being perceived as holy! It is written in the Book of Psalms:
” I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. ” (Ps 34:4).
Even the admiration that surrounds me can be destructive, and even fear can be thanked if it is thanks to it that we seek God and not ourselves! In the seventh verse of this psalm the author writes:
“This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles” (Ps 34:6).
How much do you have to reduce your kudos to be perceived by others as poor? Sometimes we say about someone with sorrow: “poor guy.” In order for our prayer to have the power to transform all afflictions in an instant, we need to cry out to God and not try to be called as if we were a god, an idol! The smaller I am, the more powerful is the power of prayer in me, a cry that can free not only me, but also others from trouble!
a figure of speech consisting of the use of the name of one thing for that of another of which it is an attribute or with which it is associated (such as “crown” in “lands belonging to the crown”) ↑
01/04/24
